i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
