I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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