and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
