HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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