I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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