Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
