she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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