I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize
