tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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