If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
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