i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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