i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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