I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
