Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
