He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
