woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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