Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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