Fuck appropriateness.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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