can we get nightvision for the apartment?
This house was built for laser tag.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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