I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
