I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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