Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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