Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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