thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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