I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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