ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Is it penis luge time yet?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Randomize
