My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
