its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
