I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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