I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
