I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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