yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
