and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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