We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
