I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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