home. puking in laundry basket.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
