It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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