whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I need to align my fucking chakras
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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