Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
