I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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