she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
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