So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Just cropdusted the office
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
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