He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
