is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
