yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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