i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
