five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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