yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
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