I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Oh god it's open bar.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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