Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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