I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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