if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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