I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
COCAINE IS GR8
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
