good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
