Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
