she was so not down for the gang bang
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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