Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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