I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
